Thursday, December 29, 2011

stuffed like a turkey

I just sat there today and realised.....holey moley I am over 32 weeks!!! How have I suddenly gone from announcing I'm pregnant to being over 8 months pregnant?  I keep forgetting that this journey is nearly over and I am actually going to have to pop this little one out at some point.

The back and hips have been faily good this week.  Heartburn has subsided a little.  I was beginning to think for a while that my stomach had become confused and decided to produce battery acid instead of bile. The upchuck reflex is unfortunately as sensitive as the smoke alarm in my first house.  There would be no retching required to empty my system.  pure gravity just yanks the food back out of my stomach.

Breathing is now quite difficult.  I becaome breathless after just talking.  Those that know me would not be surprised as I could make talking an olympic sport.  It makes me laugh though as when I am on the phone I puff and pant through my conversation and I know that people are probably thinking that dodgy guy who stares at them in the grocery store is prank calling them.  I can feel my uterus is pretty much under my chin now LOL!  Joking aside the uterus is really high and it is around now that I find it difficult to eat.  I get so full after just afew bites as my stomach is being squeezed within an inch of its life.   My advice to first timers would be eat small meals maybe 4 or 5 times a day and that way you shouldnt feel uncomfortable.

The baby now has her head down and I keep getting moments of feeling her butt stick out either side of my belly button.  This is probably the most difficult time breathing and eating,  it soon passes.  When the baby drops it is literally like a button has been pressed and you can suddenly breathe properly.   Of course though, when that happens you are on constant guard from your spouse waiting for that first contraction.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Upchuck queen

So you know them toys that are a little bird made of glass. It's on a stand and it has a vessel of water at the bottom of it and when you swing the bird it keeps going and it looks like it is drinking from a glass? Well that's me but the other way round. After I have eaten I cannot lie down or bend down as my food comes straight back up. I also get quite nauseous when I eat some times as baby is quite large and her feet kick my stomach quite alot.

Yesterday was just evil. I felt like I was going to spew all day.

Onwards and upwards. Only 7 and a half more weeks to go.

Looking good so far!

Well I went to the Drs as planned and I was pleasantly surprised! I was dreading it thinking that they were going to say your pelvis is shot love!

I had to bend forward as far as I could. Ok that was easy enough. Next I had to flex a d stretch my hips. Fine I could do that. Then check the alignment of the pelvis. All looked level. Then I had to get on the bed and the Dr checked the rotation of the hips and it was good. He asked where the source of the pain was and I said I thought it was the tailbone. Little did I know that I was no where near anatomically right with that self diagnosis. He actually prodded my tailbone and I realised its right near my rear entrance. Of course it is. God I am thick sometimes. We then managed to locate the source of the pain and it is right in the small of my back. My back curves a little more than normal. The pain is purely obstetrical. It is simply the weight of the bump stretching my already over exaggerated spine curve.

I was shocked but obviously thrilled to bits. I still need to keep it real and not over do things.

Fantastic news though!!!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A potential bit of good news......

I need to wait until a follow up Drs appointment on Friday but I may be ok to have the option of trying for a natural delivery rather than the old lift out of the sunroof.  At the same time I need to be realistic and know that i will not be going for hours and hours, I need to admit that after a couple of hours if it aint happening then I need to get intervention.

Its a hard decision to make,  do you just go ahead and schedule the C section and miss out on the most amazing natural high you will ever have? Or do you try and go natural and get that wonderful bonding moment but risk another pelvis injury or 3rd degree laceration? (for those of you that dont know, that is where you split from front to back.....ouch!)

Well I guess I have to take all factors into account.  My husband was concerned during my last delivery that the nurse on the right side of me had my leg at a very awkward angle and she was holding it far back.  I know that is the optimum position and I was under an epidural so I couldnt feel anything.  Whether it be coincidence or not, it was that leg that was damaged.  With the correct positioning and with me in control I may be able to get it right.

I met with my midwife yesterday and it really hit home to me that where I previously would have refused a C section because it is a surgical procedure, I was overwhelmed with emotion because I cant imagine being denied going through labor and the emotional joy of delivering.  I broke down in tears as I explained that and I think it will take a lot to change that.

This is a joint decision though.  Myself and hubby need to come up with an action plan once we know the full story from the musco-skeletal people and then see what to do.  My midwife did make a good point though that when creating a birth plan it needs to be a joint decision but the mother going through it needs to be 100% on board with that plan as you don't ever want to have resentment in the marriage.  As this will be my last pregnancy I know that I really want the option to at least try delivering naturally.

Lets see what the Dr says on Friday.  On a good note.....my split bum hole has healed.....YAY!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Weebles do wobble over

The old phrase "weebles wobble over but they don't fall down" really failed today for me. I am a weeble, my centre of gravity is somewhere near my anus so naturally when I miscalculated the steps into the house (I swear I thought I climbed 3 but I only climbed 2)I landed on my bottom.

It was like a comedy slow motion fall. Luckily straight on my bum so no harm done. I sat and laughed so hard. My daughter ran over and gave me a hug.

It must be the time of year. When I was pregnant with my first daughter I fell over actually onto my tummy on the day before new years eve. I had to stay in hospital over night and made it home at 9.30pm on new years eve.

I really need to watch my footing which is clearly hard as I haven't seen my feet for 4 months!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Hairy legwarmers

Hello again peeps! I had to giggle the other night. I was in the bath and looked down at my legs and realised it was full on gorilla warfare! I don't get to see my legs much so I didn't realise how desperate the situation was. I reached for my razor and set to work.

Ok, top half of legs done. Now let's just reach forward and, oh, er, ahhhh, heave....nope. I can't reach the bottom of my legs. I literally looked like I had hairy legwarmers on. It was hysterical! I couldn't leave it like that. What happens if I needed to go to the hospital and they see me like that. Am I the only person who makes sure she has matching underwear on just in case she has to go in an ambulance? It would be awful to get caught wearing my laundry day underwear, you know, the grey ones that were white. One underwire is missing and the elastic in the knickers has gone... Sound familiar or is it just me?

Anyway! Back to the legwarmers. So I had to get rid of them but I just cannot reach. It was then I had my brainwave. I will use my feet. I have always been quite dexterous so I put the razor in my toes and ha ha ha success! It worked. Thank god these razors are safe and not the old style skin chunk removing ones. Admittedly it took a while and lots of puffing and panting but I now look normal and not like something out of gorillas in the mist. Sigourney Weaver was on her way to profile my life I mean this was critical! I watched that film and there aint no way I am having my hand as an ash tray.

I will leave you for now. Ta ta for now xx

Monday, December 12, 2011

Am I broken or not?

I have had a little bit of progress today.  The magic back and pelvis Dr who helped me recover post delivery last time has reached out and I am going for an appointment there on the 23rd.  He worked miracles last time.  My OBGYN Dr said my pelvic separation was one of the worst she has seen in years. Hence the old C Section discussion.

My Musco-skeletal Dr is going to give me the once over and see how the pelvis is holding up and see if there are any excersises I can do at home to assist the pregnancy. 

I am trying so hard to not get my hopes up as I know i am asking the impossible but you just never know do you.  I am willing to try ANYTHING at this stage to increase my chances of having a natural birth.  I dont want it out of the sunroof!

I will of course keep you posted and let you know what happens.

The awful "C" word.........no...not that one you dirty people!

I recently had a check up with my Drs.  My torn bum feels much better.  Still using the surpositories which feel HORRID!  If any of you have watched the film Role Models, there is a bit in that film where Jane Lynch's character has a rather funny issue with a hot dog that keeps squeezing out of the bun and she keeps pushing it back in.  That is literally what it is like! But, I have to say things feel much better.  I don't feel I have to hold on to the toilet seat when I go do my business now.

Anyway I am happy to move on from that and talk about something else.

My last delivery did not go very well.  Long story short (39 hours)  I was left with SPD.  That is where the 2 sides of the pelvis separate during delivery.  My daughter was facing the wrong way so I stretched a little too far.  I also had a 3rd Degree Laceration.  Basically that is a tear from front to back.  OUCH! 
I required 9 weeks of physical therapy and some stitches to get myself back to walking and "functioning" properly.  Naturally there has been some concern as to how it will go this time.  I am now 7 months in and I am really struggling with walking.  My sciatic nerve is flaring alot.  I waddle like a penguin so I need to check the integrity of the pelvis. 

My Dr had a polite discussion with me and reminded me that I may need to consider a C Section.  To me this is a curse word.  I am very Holistic and passionate about being as natural as possible.  When I had this conversation with the Dr I agreed that her reasoning was a solid argument.  We need to see how big the baby gets and just weigh up what would be best for me and the baby.  I was calm and collected.

As soon as I got in my car, i had a meltdown.  Only dogs and bats could have understood what I said.  My poor husband.  I called him and squealed down the phone.

I really want to go into labor.  I want the delivery to be on the babies schedule, not a Drs.  I want to feel the labor progress.  I want that moment of exilaration when she is born.  I want the skin on skin immediately after the birth.  I want to Breastfeed straight away. What I then suddenly realized is all the I's in that sentence. 

I need to think of the babies needs after the birth.  Also I need to think about my daughters needs.  I cant go through another 9 week recovery with a new born and 2 year old.  I need to be mobile.  Last time I couldnt walk without assistance for 4 weeks.  I need to think about the burden it will have on my husband.  He does so much for me already.  I need to keep emotion out of it and do what is right for all of us.  We don;t always get what we want.

Its easy to say but this is my last child.  My last time being pregnant.  I really want it to be a natural birth.  That is going to take alot of emotional management to see logically.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Pain in the arse

I have been wondering whether or not to post this as I don't know when too much Info is too much. My purpose of this blog was to portray everything, no holds barred, honest and truthful. So even though I know no man including my husband will ever find me sexually appealing again I will divulge....

About 5 years ago I had a very proud moment when I was a flight attendant when I managed to make the waste meter go up a notch after having a rather large poo. I kinda feel weird having the same pride this time around but how else should I feel after having a poo so big it..... Split my arse!

Yes you read it.... My bum broke having a poo. I have had to double dose my iron and vitamin D pills as I'm more deficient than Casper. This has led to some monumental movements that looked more like fossilised wood than roughage. On Monday my butt finally cracked... Pardon the pun. I felt a sting and then wiped and saw blood. Of course I was like WTF? I checked a million times that it wasn't from my lady garden and thankfully it wasn't. I thought great I have hemmaroids. That would just be horrid! Tuesday was the same thing.

My husband finally said. Ok come on let me take a look. I thought how sweet but really I need to keep some dignity. I dont know why as he saw me tear during childbirth last time. I had an appointment with the docs already set so I would just go to that.

That appointment was today. I did my duty and laid back and thought of England. I looked at the pretty pictures and the ceiling and braced myself. In goes my lovely Drs finger up the old one way street. Holey Moley do some people really do that for fun? And how the hell does a hamster fit in there anyway? The pain coupled with the fact I thought I was going to pebbledash the wall and my Dr made me cringe.

Thankfully she had good news. There are no clingons on the starboard bow. I simply split my arse. Right! Somehow that's better.

As I sit here I have a friggin surpository the size of the Washington memorial up my jacksie and trying not to sneeze.

Did I mention I love being pregnant?

Monday, December 5, 2011

Constant Braxton Hicks

I am now 30 weeks and I have been having incredibly frequent Braxton hicks. That is where you feel the tightening of the uterus and a squeezing sensation. You can sometimes find it takes your breath a little.

The guide is if you have 4 or more in an hour you should seek advice. I am having around 15 - 20 per hour. Mainly it is dehydration so PLEASE keep drinking water! I have been drinking constantly but it is still occurring. I have a Drs apt on Thursday so I will be mentioning it. I haven't had any other pre term labor signs so I am not concerned. I am just exhausted. It really takes it out of you.

Lots of feet up and resting is on the cards me thinks...... Pwahahahahahahahah I almost said that with a straight face! Full time job and toddler at home..... Yeah I get tons of time to put my feet up and rest

Soggy foot and dented pride

So here goes. Embarrassing blog post of the week. My centre of gravity is not really where it used to be and when you couple that with the fact my hips are ceasing up, you get a disastrous result.

I have this thing about toilet flush handles. I can't touch them. I just think of all the germs. So I lift the old leg up and plonk my foot on the flush handle to flush it.

I went to the loo this afternoon so my hips were very sore after sitting all day. I finished my "business" and went to flush. My aim was perfect right until the last minute when a sudden veer to the right sent the heel of my shoe IN to the BOWL!!!!! EUGH!!!! So grose! I was laughing hysterically which then made me need to pee again so it was round 2.

Thank god I didn't have a dump as that would have to have been harder to clean off than a little pee. Could you imagine! Pulling your Nine West heel out of the loo with a turd skewered on it! I am just glad no one saw me washing my shoe in the sink!

So embarrassing!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Knickerbocker Shocker

Imagine this beautiful site. It's the end of a long day. I have eaten and proceeded to have a nice hot steaming bath. I clumsily flop out of the bath and cover myself in cream. Next I proceed to the bedroom and put on my nice fluffy bath robe. Husband starts making his way up the stairs and now it is a race against time. Can I get my knickers on before he gets to the bedroom.

The reason this is not for my husbands eyes is because I can't bend down low enough to loop the leg holes over my feet. It is a mad frantic mission of bending over, holding onto the bed knob and playing hoopla with my knickers on my feet. With about 3 throws I manage to get on foot in successfully. With a sigh of relief and a sneaky fart for my troubles I now make the second foot my goal.

This time hoopla will not work. It is now a fight between my longest finger and the knicker elastic. I strain and strain and I feel my back burning and my knees trembling and husband is nearly at the door. Panic!!!! One last stretch and with my butt nearly split in 2 I managed to get it on. Now comes the wiggle move of trying to get them up my legs and look all sexy.

I wiggle them up and look in the mirror and I am flushed, sweaty, out of breath, panting and my boobs are stuck somewhere under my armpit.....yeah.... I think it's not really working.

Poor husband. I look frikkin ridiculous but do you know what makes it all worth while.... Seeing my husbands face as he watches my belly move and he looks at me with this contented little grin.

Love being pregnant!!!!! It is a miracle and a gift x

Goodbye favorite pen

Yesterday was a sad day.
I dropped my pen and it is under my desk.  It is in a sacred lost world that I can no longer access.  I tried relentlessly to pick it up and succeeded in making my face all flushed, waking the baby up so got a thorough kicking, made my co worker die laughing as she heard me strain and puff and pant to get down low enough and almost ripped my trousers trying to split my legs apart and let the belly hang down so that I could try and reach it....but....alas.....the pen is still there in its own little under desk world.  hanging out with a couple of paperclips.

I look forward to being able to be reunited with my little pen in March after I have had the baby.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Climbing Mount Everest

I am now 28 Weeks and at the stage where I wheeze and pant just going up a flight of stairs.  I feel like my lung capacity is non existent.  We were taking my daughter upstairs last night to brush her teeth before bed and I said to my husband to go upstairs as I had to take a brief rest on the landing.  It is so funny because it is so gradual and then literally over night you sound like you are having respiratory distress going up 2 steps!!

The comfort I have is that when the baby drops before delivery you can breathe a full lung again.  Yesterday I even got out of breath talking on the phone!  How bad is that!!!! Especially for me being an absolute chatterbox.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Emperor Penguin Stage

I couldnt help but laugh the other day as I was in the back of the car with my daughter watching Happy Feet and I thought,"where have I seen a walk like that before"  Oh yeah.....that would be me. 

I am now beyond the "i look like I have pooed myself" stage and have progressed to the "did she have rickets as a child" kind of stage.  I am literally walking like my hips and pelvis have been fuzed together. 

I think the reason is my back is so arched and my bump is so far out now that my body is having conflicting centers of gravity so to compensate it decides to distract passers by, by making me walk like that duck at the pond with the gimpy leg that everyone throws bread to because they feel sorry for it.

Again just one of the many joys of motherhood.  It makes me feel alive and i am just grateful for the chance to host another baby again.

Well I am gonna waddle of now so see you soon.

Warning to shipping

Oh my GOD.  What is going ON!!!!! Thanksgiving was on Thursday so nearly 5 days ago.  Its like my body and the baby kept all the food and took all the nutrients they wanted and decided to let go of the waste today.

Yes people......its going to be one of those posts.....sorry but I did say I was going to be honest.

Literally from the minnute I woke up to now I have been in the loo about 16 times.  I must have lost about 7 pounds in this last 2 hours between peeing like Niagara and giving birth to several pounds of fudge its just insane.  Hence the reason I feel the need to put a warning out to the shipping forecasters for a bumpy ride hahahaha.

It is just hysterical.  The worst thing is our office has the worst loo paper in the world.  The squares are about as big as a stamp, they disintegrate on any contact with human skin, it is about as soft as wiping your arse with a cheese grater just the whole ordeal is unpleasant. 

To top it all off my signal has been so poor I cant even watch netflix in the loo to help me keep focus.  EPIC fail!

Curse of the hiccups

The baby is clearly trying to take practice breaths and in the process giving herself the hiccups.  It was the same thing with my first.  From about 6 months onwards my daughter had the hiccups every single DAY!  Not everyone experiences it but i tell you it gives me the giggles sometimes as it feels so bizarre.

For the past 15 minutes now the poor little mite is in my uterus hiccupping away.  I cant suggest drinking water backwards or taking a breath of fresh air.  I cant scare her as lets face it I will probably scare myself and pee myself at the same time.

My belly just kinda sits there and twitches.  Poor little sausage.  Its funny now but when she does it at 2am in the morning thats not so cool.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Early morning black Friday

I have been up today since 3am. No I'm not shopping or pitched in a tent outside a store. I leave that to my cousin in a warmer state hahaha.

The baby has been going absolutely bonkers! I don't know what she is doing but it feels like she is doing the electric slide in there. I think it is her hands that I am feeling. I can feel her bottom now so I can usually tell where her feet and hands are.

I lay there thinking shall I just get up and go shopping but then the guilt of spending money creeps up on me. So I thought oh I know. Real housewives of Beverley hills is on demand so I thought there we go. Let's go watch that. That lasted 45 mins and now I am sitting here watching some absolute gash about who is gonna be the next accessory guru.

Why am I watching this? I clearly am the tired and frustrated that I can't even muster up the energy to change the channel. To top it off there are left overs in the fridge from yesterday's feast. The lemon meringue pie is calling me from the fridge. I must RESIST!

Glucose overload

I had my gestational diabetes test. It is SO not enjoyable. For those of you with a sweet tooth you might enjoy it but I am more of a savory person so I dread it.

Basically what happens is you go to the Drs office and when you get there you are handed this bottle of orange liquid. It is pure glucose basically. The disappointing thing is it is a flat liquid. It is very syrupy in consistency and it gives your teeth a fur coat.

You get 5 minutes to drink it. I am of the philosophy of just pinch your nose and down it in one. The clock then starts ticking. You have an hour before you have your blood drawn. Make sure you take something fun to do with you. For me it was my crochet. It was either that or watch Rachel Ray cook on TV which always makes me so hungry.

Then it's time for blood work and my regular drs appointment. The glucose had now worn off and I was feeling very sleepy. It was like full on I've just eaten thanksgiving dinner sleepy. The dr got the fetal heartbeat monitor and had no problem locating her as she was fast asleep apparently. Poor thing was on a major sugar crash. As I laid there looking at the ceiling I could have nodded off there and then.

I will only hear results of it is bad so I guess no news is good news xxx

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I shouldn'a done that

Firstly I hope my best friend is not reading this as she will not be happy with me. I had one of those oh I forgot I'm pregnant moments today. I went to the grocery store after work. With thanksgiving on Thursday the store was packed. I had to practically park the car in the next county and walk into the store. Wheezing and waddling I made my way around the store. I finally picked up a 24 pack of soda and made my way to the checkout. I had one bag and the soda to carry to the car. Doesn't sound much does it. When you have a pumpkin in your uterus and you need to pee and you have to walk across the county to get the car it is doomed to fail. I had to stop 3 times as my muscles down the side of my belly were agony. Some 90year old biddy made it to her car before I did!!! I got in the car and was in so much pain. I'm such a dufus!!! I keep forgetting I can't carry heavy things. My buddy Lizzie would joke and ask if I am going home to bench press the refrigerator. Last time I was pregnant I tried to lift my 50 poud dog into the back of the car to go to the vets and I really badly strained my ligaments. You would think I had learnt by now but nope clearly not. Lizzie if you read this I am sorry I'm so special that I forget I'm pregnant xx.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Ewwwww......I'm leaking!!!

Well for you first timers there will be this moment. The moment where you wake up in bed with cold wet arms and you are thinking "what the heck!!!" your boobs just decide to leak. It's not milk but it's colostrum. It's all GOOD! It's letting you know everything is all on track and getting ready to work.

I seem to get mine early. I am 27 weeks! It was the same last time. I was so grosed out by it before. My bed sheets need regular washing otherwise it ends up looking like I have had a "wild"night with the husband if you catch my drift.

I just need some breast pads and I will be all good x

Friday, November 18, 2011

I wish I had Barney Rubble arms

So I am sorry to bring up toilet issues but I have too.  Thats the whole point of this blog. 

Why do us women have such short arms??? I am finding it near impossible to negotiate around my bump to make sure the lady garden is clean after going to the loo.  I try and try and for some dumb reason I have convinced myself that leaning forward will make my arms longer which clearly it doesnt.  I then get blocked by the ever ginormous bump on my front.

My next tactic then is to do the old reach around from the side. there are 2 downsides to this.  It only emphasises the love handles which I would rather not think about and it makes me puff and pant like I have just run a marathon.  Lord knows what Darling Husband thinks when he hears me puffing and panting in the bathroom.  Thankfully for him we have not closed the bathroom doors in 10 years so he can see plain as day what I am doing.  Again this prompts the question of how the heck does my husband find me attractive after seeing this insane X Factor failing contortion act?

Possible solution.........I recommend the old dental floss trick.  Come on ladies, i know you have done it.....you have all been a little bit "socially relaxed" on the dance floor and removed your scarf and done the old in between the legs dental floss dance move.  It works surprisingly well with loo roll.

Now there is a mental image to take into the weekend!!!!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

This ones for the dads........

Hey there daddy-o's!

Its been a while since I posted for you.  I just wanted to bring you up to speed with what may be going on in our heads right now.  Here are some tips and advice for you when your Mrs enters the 3rd trimester.

Please dont stare:  When we sit and order half of the Denny's menu and then polish off your left overs please smile affectionately and say how much we are glowing.  don't stare at the beads of sweat pouring off our brow as we struggle to stuff as much food into our mouths as possible.  Just smile in pride at the fact we may actually be able to beed that dude from Man v's food.  Mental note:  your wife will indeed need to eat again in about half an hour.  Under no circumstances mention that you JUST ate.

Don't ever respond to the following question:  Do my boobs look different sizes?  We spend hours looking in the mirror convincing ourselves that one is bigger than the other.  I don't know why I mean lets face it how can you tell when they look like spaniels ears?

Learn to bend your arm backwards:  At the most strange times in bed your wife may say "ooh the babys kicking." before you get a chance to respond she will grab your arm and put it on her belly and wait for you to feel the baby kick.  Even though this may actually feel like a fart brewing in her tummy just smile through the pain she inflicted by treating your arm like Stretch armstong and marvel at how excited she is.

Prepare for outright panic: You will be sitting there watching TV enjoying a nice drink when your Mrs will suddenly blurt out " oh my god we are having a baby!"  This is my second and I actually had this last week.  I suddenly realized that this little bundle is actually going to come out at some point and to top it off it's going to live with us.  Why is it always a surprise?????  Please administer the following.  A nice strong cup of tea and a jammie dodger.  Offer a foot rub and soothing conversation about what a wonderful support network of friends and family you have.  Even if they are all a pain in the arse don't EVER say that!!!

Best of luck guys and I will catch you shortly before due date time.

Eat your heart out William Hurt........

So we should all by now have seen the famous "chest burster" scene from Alien where William Hurt has an epic conclusion to his breakfast.

Thats what I felt like this morning.............minus the hollywood paycheck and charming breakfast with Sigourney Weaver.  I had some breakfast, namely AppleJacks mixed with Raisin Bran (yes I know that is the most grose concoction but just go with it).  Clearly baby was a little over excited as when I got to work my belly ressembled one of those shiatsu massage cushions where the mechanical claw moves around under the cloth.

I decided to truly monopolize on this and freak out one of our younger gentlemen employees.  I asked if he wanted to see something weird.  Lets just put it this way I think it may have worked his upchuck reflex a little bit.

It is so lovely feeling all these movements.  It is so reassuring and when you can clearly feel what limb is sticking out it is such a magical experience.  I just wish that all our darling husbands could feel this.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Damn you immunities!!

I have always been very healthy. I NEVER take sick days. I don't get colds........except when I am pregnant when all of a sudden every single germ around seems to feel the need to give me some love.

Last week I was finally sent home by my boss. Basically my darling daughter had picked up a cold from daycare. This was a normal cold that was fairly mild. It then permeated into my body and turned into a sore throat rendering, voice stealing, snot inducing, bug eyed travesty!

I looked awful! After about 2 weeks of not sleeping and waking up looking like I just did 10 rounds with Tyson because of the bulgy eyes and tissue shoved up my nose I finally had a melt down at work. I just couldn't function.

I was exhausted, couldn't talk as my voice had gone. That's kinda hard when you recruit and do 20 to 25 cold calls per day!

My boss sent me home and so off I went, a blithering mess I mean seriously blithering. It was like Bambi's mum being killed blithering. I went to my OBGYN and had a meltdown there and they moved me out of the waiting room to a side room.....wow now I feel like elephant man. I'm scaring the other punters!

They sat me down and did a strep throat test which made me nearly vomit. I was put on a course of anti biotics and sent home to rest.

I literally did nothing the rest of the day and also took the next day off. I was exhausted!!! I can look back now but seriously at the time I was just feeling so hopeless.

My advice is do whatever you can to keep those immunities up. Lots of vitamin c and a healthy diet x

I am now recovered and feeling very silly for my meltdown but hey I always have hormones as an excuse.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Low blood sugar sends me high

You would think I had learned by now that I need to snack constantly to keep my blood sugar levels good. Well, clearly I'm a slow learner. My husband went out to the shop to get some groceries. I was home and my daughter was having a nap. I was chopping up some boiled eggs to make egg salad when my blood sugar just evaporated. I got the shakes, felt sick and dizzy. My knees started wobbling.

I quickly walked (waddled) to the sofa and laid down. I then lay there resembling ewan macgregor in transporting going cold turkey from drugs.....without the freaky baby crawling across the ceiling. I literally closed my eyes and prayed it would pass.

Darling hubby came home and immediately twigged as to what was wrong and got a huge glass of orange and sprite and made me guzzle the lot. My hands were shaking so bad I had the proper Judy finnegans going on.

Luckily about 10 minutes later I was up and about an feeling pretty normal. Only difference being the baby woke up and went completely crazy in my belly. You would think I had just necked 3 redbulls the way the baby was acting.

My advice girlies is ALWAYS have snacks on you!!!!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

braxton hicks are here again

This afternoon I noticed the Braxton Hicks have returned.  For all of you first time mums it is a very strange sensation and i could understand why some first time mums mistake them for labor.

if you have not had them before basically your belly suddenly goes rock hard.  it kind of makes your diaphragm contract so you find breathing a little labored.  your belly may also go a funny shape.  mine goes pointy.

Make sure you have a toilet handy as it makes you need to go pee really badly.

its so exciting seeing that I am having the practice contractions.  in fact i am having one right now.

This is really happening isn't it!!!!!

Trick or Treat

I completely forgot to mention Halloween!!!!!!!  i am obviously on a budget so no costume was purchased.  I had to be creative and think out of the box.  I was sitting on the toilet when it came to me.  There staring back at me was my costume.  A little bit of orange and black body paint and voila!!!!! pumpkin!!!!!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Americas got talent here I come

Surely the fact that I fart as I go up every single step in my house is a worthy entry for the next series.

I don't know if it was the curry or the soda or the non alcoholic beer I had this evening but those damn carpet frogs have followed me home from work. It's insane!!! My daughter even laughed as I lifted her out of the bath and "exhaled" out of my rear end. This is really not the beautiful feminine pregnancy experience.

Do you reckon Beyonce and Jay-z have carpet frogs in their house? Do you reckon posh spice used to roll over in bed and fart on David Beckhams thigh? Somehow I think not.

What do the celebs do different? Why don't they develop the 3rd boob as they burst out of their bras? Why don't they walk like they have a rod up their arse? Why don't they accidentally knock glasses off the table with their bellys while dining at the Ivy?

Us middle class preggos just have to accept that carpet frogs are a spreading epidemic.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Yes..... My cervix is now a trampoline apparently

I am now experiencing the vomit inducing man handling of my cervix from her indoors. I love feeling her move but does she really have to stroke my cervix and then wipe her feet on it???

It is the most bizarre feeling and I cannot possibly describe it but I will try anyway. I get these feelings of almost having a pap smear (smear test) but from the inside out. It is so bizarre. I find myself jumping up out of my seat and trying to move her away from my cervix. She will oblige for a while a d the. Just as I feel secure she will start jumping on it.

Sweetheart I love you and I love feeling you move but pleeeeaaaase could you just leave the door alone. It will open when it's good and ready.

Love mummy. Xxx

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

When did I become a 15 year old

This morning I woke up and looked in the mirror and there was 15 year old me staring back.
I have the worst skin breakout right now. I used to suffer from pimples as a teen but those days were long behind me.

I wouldn't even have a clue now how to cover them up as its been so long since I had one. I remember the days I could open up a junk draw and find the most random bits of makeup and be able to perfectly disguise a pimple. Now I would just look like a 12 year old experimenting with my mothers make up bag. I'm not even gonna bother. Screw it!

When people start asking my pimple if it wants a cup of tea then I will maybe do something about it but for now I just can't be arsed!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Warning! The floodgates have opened....

Today was AWFUL!!!!

Severe traffic lead to late Drs appointment. That lead to late lunch which equals one serious dizzy spell. On top of all that I got a flat tire on the car. The FIRST day my hubby gave it to me. Oops. I hit a curb when turning a corner. I am a female I have no idea where the other side of the car is!!!!

I was so behind at work that I ate my lunch and then just plowed on. I survived the rest of the afternoon on tea, water and chewing gum.

I was busting for a pee by the time it came to me leaving work. I had to get my daughter as darling hubby was unable to pick her up. I managed to keep it in while driving there. I picked her up into the car with my legs crossed and .... Success! No pee.

I got her home and played with her and fed her. I then got her upstairs and ready for bed. Read her story and put her to bed. I ate something and thought I really must pee. I then got distracted by washing up. I then made some batches of food for the week to make my dinners earlier when .........aaaattttccccchhhuhbhooooooo!

The mother of all sneezes.! I stood by the cooker making food with pee streaming down my legs and oooooohhhhh god it felt so good. So good that I actually forgot where I was. I then realized where I was and as I looked at the dog staring back at me in disgust and suddenly realized the contents of lake Ontario were on the kitchen floor.

Thankfully hardwoods are easy to clean. Well it could've been worse. I might have followed through! Lol

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Hello Homer Simpson

I literally just got in the bath and I had to laugh as I saw my reflection in the mirror as there, staring back at me, was Homer Simpson.

My boobs perch on my belly and they look like his eyes then my belly just needs a mouth drawing on it and there you go! Homer Simpson.

If it weren't for the fact I would probably get arrested it would make an awesome Halloween outfit!

I can't believe how quickly things seem to be progressing. I am over 5 months! My boobs weigh a ton! Obviously getting ready for milk production. My belly is so ROUND!!!! The baby is kicking so much.

Well I am now in the bathroom catching up with Downton Abbey on the Telly. Best program EVER!!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Numb bum syndrome

Today was absolutely MANIC at work and I was at my desk sat down alot. I was bogged down with paperwork. I got up to go to the printer and I swear my bum had sealed over. The pain when I stood up was so intense. I felt so DISGUSTING! Am I really that heavy that my bum is struggling with the weight???

I then had the mortal dilemma of "do you think anyone will see if I massage my bum a bit to wake it up?"

Well me being me I thought sod it and gave my cheeks a good old wiggle. It made me chuckle to myself. I felt so silly but crikey I needed it.

I then got up and waddled around the office a bit and said bum cheeks were fully awakened

Monday, October 17, 2011

Darling Husbands first contact with his 2nd daughter

Last night was a very special moment.

The baby was getting very rambunctious do I took full advantage. I laid on my back and had my husband put his hand on my belly and low and behold about 10 minutes later he got 2 good kicks. It was so wonderful. It is his 2nd child, as it is mine but it was still just as special as with our first daughter.

It feels wonderful for me to finally share this with my hubby as they don't really get to experience anything apart from pissed off wives and mental mood swings.

So now that the kicking is stronger I am sure my belly will man handled alot more hahaha.

It was such a wonderful moment xxx

Friday, October 14, 2011

Post-it blooper!

You may have read the previous post about me clearing off desk tops as I leave my desk as my bump has developed into a rudimentary shelf/swiffer duster!

Well imagine my embarrassment today as I had been walking around for 20 minutes with 3 post-it notes stuck to my shirt right under my bump............

No one said anything so I am hoping that no one noticed.  How embarrassing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Return of the shelf

I LOVE this stage of pregnancy. No matter where I am I always have a handy shelf available. I noticed 4 times today that I was resting my notepad on my belly to write. It also became a handy cup rest for my tea.

The only issue is walking around with a beachball up your frock does lead to some funny mishaps. Like misjudging the toilet door frame and closing the door on your belly. Knocking all the paperwork off a desk as you walk by it. Almost trapping yourself and a poor victim between you and the photocopier.

The other funny thing is sitting at my desk and talking to prospective recruits I notice that I just sit and rub my belly. It's like I think it's like a genie will pop out or something. Why do us preggos do that??

Forgotten Prescription

The other day I ran out of Pre-Natal Vitamins.  Simple...............go to the pharmacy,  it is a drive thru pharmacy so you dont even need to get out of the car.............you dont need your purse as they have your account already set up.  The hard part.  Remembering to do that!

I lay awake that first night without the vitamin pills imagining my little one suddenly developing a 3rd eye because the vitamin balance isnt right.  I felt the guilt that if the poor thing fails calculus at school it is because of my missed pill.

Of course I know that I am being completely irrational but I'm 5 months pregnant, how else am I supposed to feel.

Why do we feel so guilty so early on about how our decisions affect our children???

I guess my punishment was the fact I missed a night of stool softener pills so of course I was subjected to a red hot poker coming out of my arse the following day.

Right I am going to go and retrieve my fingernails from the side of the toilet seat....have a great day!!!!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Who stole my nips and replaced them with melted minstrels?

I got out of the bath last night and laughed at my reflection. The swollen belly is funny on it's own but my nips literally changed over this last week. Gone are the nice pink ones. Replaced by what look like melted minstrels! They are so big and so brown! I look at those bottles that you see farmers hand rearing baby calfskin and think yep that's what mine look like. I could feed a whole herd.

My poor funbags! They are well and truly sunny side DOWN! I need some serious scaffolding to get those puppies looking back up at the sun.

I just need to remember the purpose and that makes me smile and I learn to love my saggy mammaries. I'm not quite at national geographic stage yet but I'm not far off!

Nocturnal Riverdance

I settle into bed every night after having a nice cup of hot milk. I then grab my crochet and do about half an hour of crochet before I finally turn the light out. The baby is asleep during all this time.

Once the lights go out, the baby wakes up and act 3 of riverdance starts. It was the same with my last pregnancy. I lay awake and feel all the little pokes prods twists and turns. I roll to the other side to see if a change of position might calm things Down but no baby wants to dance.

It is definitely getting stronger I can't feel it on the outside yet. There are times when it feels like the baby is stretching out across my entire lower belly and that really feels weird. It's not at the Aliens chest Burster scene yet.

Usually watching Star Trek calms the baby Down again. I just love feeling all the little movements. I have to enjoy every last one as this is my last :( if only I could win the lottery.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Midnight Mucnhies

I don't know what it was about last night but boy I had the munchies.

It was literally like some weird pathological thing where I put my head on my pillow to go to sleep (yeah right! fat chance) and my brain just said, "i need a big mac".

Whether it was because I was emotionally drained about Steve Jobs passing or over the moon about some other good news I had received I don't know but I just knew I had to have a Big Mac.

My husband heard me say it and seriously was going to get out of bed and go get me one.  Bless him!!!!!  We are lucky here as they are 24 hours.  If I was still living in England I would have had to have gone miles to the airport to get one as that was the only one open late.

Needless to say I was not that callous.  I told my hubby don't go.  I will only regret eating it.  I still want one really badly but it is just such awful stuff to eat.  We settled down to watch a program about black holes in the universe and the narrator kept referring to "stars being eaten"  all the way through the program.  Really????? you have to mention eating at a time like this. 

Now of course I am writing this and just wishing I could have a stupid Big Mac.  GRRRRRRR!  i will go to my bag and have an apple because that will SOOOOOOOOOOO get rid of the craving lol!

Monday, October 3, 2011

The "Ive been run over by a bus" feeling

This morning was not pretty.  First of all I woke up with a mouth like a Badgers Bum! The heating was on last night so my mouth dried out and a fairy must have flown by and farted in my mouth because damn did my breath honk this morning.  Attractive picture I'm painting.  I blame it on the 2 trail mix bars that I sneakily ate last night when I couldnt sleep.

My husband felt ill last night so he got up around midnight and went downstairs and neither of us could sleep.  The baby was also awake as she was doing somersaults.  She was also doing that grose "im going to kick you right in the cervix" thing.  It is still very slight and not hard enough for anyone else to feel, not that many people spend time feeling my cervix but you know what I mean.

After 2 hectic days and not much sleep I am sat at my desk staring at my computer looking like I have just escaped from a mental home after several months of electrotherapy treatment.

I literally threw on some clothes this morning, I am amazed I got a matching pair of shoes!  I scraped my hair back into a high ponytail, you know,  like us girls do when its so greasy it sticks to your head so you may as well tie it back.  I put extra eyeliner on today to show people that my eyes are in the normal place, it is just the bags that extend midway down my cheek. 

I think I need a nice luke warm  100 degree Farenheit bath and a new wardrobe.  Just something to pick me up and get me going again.  I feel fat and frumpy today.  That glow is definitely not present right now.  I feel like people look at me and think I am some kind of drug rehabilitated teen mom as I look about 12 years old with my hair tied up.

So operation "pick me up" needs to commence.  I need to get my hair cut as my hair has grown super fast.  I need to update my maternity wardrobe and i need to do it STAT!!!!

Friday, September 30, 2011

"to the tune of BonJovi Living on a Prayer" WOOOOOOO were half way there..............

Half way baby!!!!!!!!!  I cant believe I am at this stage already.  I got my hospital admission paperwork the other day to fill out which suddenly gave me a reality check of "oh yeah,  i am going to deliver a baby at some point".

It really has been a fairly uneventful pregnancy...........so far!!!!!!!!!!  If I had have done this last time round it would have twice the posts it does now.  Mainly because i had no frikkin idea what the heck my body was doing.  After having gone through one child as a newborn I am used to coping on little sleep.  Thankfull my darling first born has been a great sleeper from a very young age.

I am feeling OK.  Tired but thats normal.  Hungry as a horse but again, those that know me know that is completely normal.  I have to resist the urge to eat my weight in mash for fear of gaining too much weight.  I have put on aroun 14 pounds which makes me cringe but I am still way under my 25 pound weight loss from Weight Watchers so we are all good!!!

It really is the down hill run from here now so I just want to try and stop being so stressed and try and enjoy this last stage as as much as I would love to be at 19 kids and counting, i think this will be my last pregnancy.

"cue the violins"

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

Well we finally found out the flavor of the baby. 

I am not one of those people that can do surprises.  I like to have the drawers full of clothes I like to have the name picked out. I have to be organized!

So we went for our anatomy scan.  It was a nice long scan.  The poor baby was all scrunched up in a ball as my bladder was SO full.  I swear I could have cut concrete if I opened the flood gates.

They always start at the top of the head which is so frustrating as all I want to know is the sex.  Of course I also want to make sure there arent random arms and legs in the wrong place too but is it an INNIE or an OUTIE?  Just tell me already.

Baby was cooperating really well but with it being all scrunched up they had to push quite hard to get the right image.  Each time they did it I could picture that little bit of water that you see leaking out of Hoover Dam as there was a serious danger to shipping about to occur if the prodded any harder!!!!

They zoomed in on the face and thats when we realized we are giving birth to Darth Vader.  Everything looked good.  Just the 2 eye sockets so no third eye.  thats one recurring nightmare gone.
Legs and arms looked great.  We saw the little hands and feet.  It just makes my heart melt every time.

We then went down to the business end.  So between the legs she went and we wanted to try and guess.  It was so fuzzy this time round.  Not like with my first.  We strained and strained.  my hubby got right up to the screen.  We both thought possibly boy.  The Sono lady then zoomed further in and said "Nope"  just as she said it.  There it was the good old lady burger!  3 parallel lines.  Hello baby Girl!!!!

We all laughed in sympathy for my poor husband who will now be sharing a house with 3 women and a female dog.  I seriously think he will move out of the house for 4 days a month when they hit puberty.

I am thrilled as I do not need to buy a THING!  We have everything from last time.

Now just got to think of a name!!!!!!!  Actually Lady burger has a nice ring to it.........  JOKE!!!!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Extreme Makeover the Messy edition

I simply cannot watch extreme makeover or DIY SOS or anything involving animals at the vets. I am just an emotional mess. The hormones are crazy right now. I literally well up as soon as the programs start.

I dont know what it is but since I had my daughter I just get so wonky watching television. I stupidly watched an episode of cold case files the other day and I was just covered in tears. It was like bambis mum dying and sambas dad dyin from the lion king. It's just mental. Mind you watching a program about psychotic f@ckwits going on a stabbing rampage isn't the most recommended telly viewing for us preggos.

I then try a different tactic and watch programs about babies and then I get all caught up in the emotion of them being born and end up convulsing with tears like the grinch when his heart grew a size and a half.

I'm going to go upstairs now and watch desperate housewives to see who has killed who and who is secretly their own parent thru years of inbreeding and bed hopping.

Night all!!!!!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

The dreaded pumpy bum

I spent the whole day on Wednesday farting! I swear!!! I don't know what I ate or what the heck the baby was doing but it was that sneaky fart where you have no idea when it is going to come. You then go to walk down the hall or up the stairs and end up sounding like a 1 man band as your bum hums a tune with each step. It is SO embarrassing!!!!

I would be walking to the copier and it sounded like I was stepping on frogs. You gotta be careful of those carpet frogs!! Some were so bad and loud I had to go check myself for fear I may have just soiled myself lol!!!

Now you see me, now you don't

My daughter has now gotten used to the swelling belly. I have put on 14 pounds and am 19 weeks in. It makes me cringe when I think of the 25 pounds I lost with weight watchers just prior to getting pregnant.

My daughter does the usual hiding her head between your legs.. She did it yesterday and I had to laugh as she looked up and then completely disappeared under my bump. She then looked back and laughed and hid under the bump again.

She knows how to make me feel good even when I feel like a whale!!

My hips are really painful swell. I'm noticing that as I get larger my hips flare up more.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Lead implants

So last night some plastic surgeon must have snuck into my bedroom and I stead of giving my boobs a bit of a lift they went and filled them with lead!!

I took off my bra tonight and WHOOMPH! They flopped down and good god did they hurt. To add insult to injury they look like spaniels ears. Every time I go to a fairground and see the arcades with the water balloons hung on a nail that you have to throw darts at I run like hell for fear that people may think I am part of the stall!

They are so heavy now and veiny. Really not a good look. As I am sitting in bed typing this they are slowly migrating to my armpits. GROSE!!!! Why doesn't pregnancy make them nice and full? I know I will NOT be saying that once the baby is here as they will be full of milk.

Well I am going to bed now and just hoping my boobs don't fall out the side of the bed as they will surely take me with them.

Night all! X

Friday, September 16, 2011

Baby brain.......it does exist!!!!

I am really having a hard time distinguishing new year from new York. I have had very little sleep this week and the baby brain effect is starting to show. I literally can't remember a thing!!! I struggle to recall what I did on the weekend, what I ate in a day, who I spoke to. I repeat stories ALL the time to the same accommodating people who just pat me on the head and say "ahhhh bless"! It's embarrassing.

I stare at my computer screen scared to do anything for fear of forgetting what I just did. I am amazed I get home in one piece really.

I sometimes catch myself just rubbing my belly and staring blankly into space. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a bit of drewl on the side of my mouth.

My sleep issues are no where near as bad as last time but still lingering like a bad fart!!!

Let's see if watching star wars on blu ray will help. Gotta love it!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Where the heck did that go then?

Around the 4th month of my last pregnancy I started to see the linea nigra. That funny line you get down your belly. It became really dark and it even stayed after pregnancy. I still had it just before I got pregnant this time.

Now that I am pregnant again it has just vanished! I mean totally gone!!! What the heck is going on??? Did I scrub too hard with my exfoliating gloves? It is so weird.

It's funny I was kind of attached to it as it reminded me of carrying my daughter. Will it ever come back? Who knows.... But I will let you know if it does.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Buying alcohol. .......AWKWARD

I don't know what it is about buying alcohol when you are pregnant but I went to Wegmans to buy some Guinness for my daddy so it was clearly not for me! I got to the register and while the checkout girl was lovely I felt like the rest of the line was staring at me. It just felt so naughty.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Stage Fright

All you fello preggos will be with me on this one.  It is monstrous to go to the bathroom for a number 2 right now as we are taking that many iron supplements that I am practically excreting iron pokers right now.  Sorry I forgot to warn that this one is all about bowel movements lol!

I went to the loo just now and it was taking a little encouragement.  I felt like that scene from Austin Powers where Austin gets attacked in the toilet but a fellow loo visiter thinks he is just straining.  I was just waiting for someone to yell "show that turd who's boss"

I needed some quiet time to focus and breathe through it.  Well, in comes another person who selfishly doesnt choose to go to an empty cubicle further along, no, they plonk themselves right next to me.  2 seconds later another lady comes to my other side.  What the heck.  Can they not see I am trying to focus.  I felt my eyes boring into their shoes and burning their toes to make them get a move on.

I was frozen stuck whilst crowning waiting for one of them to just hurry up and flush so that I could give it my all. 

There goes the flush and "HURRAH!!!!!!" success!!!!

Needless to say.  That turd knew who was boss!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Wonderful weightlessness

Today we had a pool party at a neighbors house. Once I finally squeezed into my maternity bathing suit (with the assistance of some talc and a shoe horn) I got over there as quick as I could and whether my daughter was ready for it or not I went straight in the pool.

It was WONDERFUL! I felt so weightless. My bump just floated around like a drifting iceberg. My daughter had a whale of a time until she did a number 2 that went all up her back. Luckily our house was only over the road.

I then got back and straight back in the pool. The little one must have felt it quite soothing as the baby went to sleep and only woke up after my 4th cup of root beer. I am starting to get some little stretch marks so I am lubing myself up every night to try and minimize the chance of my belly looking like a map of the Nile Delta.

I am now in the bath again and am loving the heat on my back. The 100 degree heat that is. I can hear my midwife in my head. I have a pool thermometer to make sure I am a good girl!

Night all!!!!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Bad Hair Day!!!!!!

When I am pregnant I end up looking like Monica from friends when they all went to the Caribbean.  My hair was just at the point where I tolerate its company on my head and I was actually starting to bond with it.

Then the hormones hit and It gets so thick.  One day its curly the next its straight.  I frighten all the birds away as I genuinely do resemble a scarecrow.

I gave up this morning and decided to just tie it back.  Now I have the pleasure of going around looking like I belong on Teen Mom.  I dont know what it is but when I tie my hair back I look like a school kid.  Im going to the Mall this afternoon to meet my hubby for lunch.  I hope I dont get people staring at me thinking "what a train wreck"

I also think my shampoo lied.  The herbal essences range tousle me softly didnt work for me.  it didnt control any frizz.  perhaps mine should be labled "Ruffled by Beltsander"

I look so hot right now hahahahaha.............

Monday, August 29, 2011

Swing Badabadabadabada.........

I was walking to the loo today down the long corridor in my office building (for the 10th time in an hour) and as I looked down I was horrified to notice that my bump wobbles side to side when I walk.

What the Heck???????  I dont remember it being so pronounced on the 1st time round.  Its like its rocking out to a Beyonce video or something.  It is as if I am trying to walk like a normal person but my bump wants to walk like a duck and nod to both walls in the corridor as I go down to the loo.

It doesnt help that the lycra animal print dress (wow I sound so friggin hot now dont I?) fits snug around the bump and moves along with the swing.

I could seriously break out into a chorous of "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" 

To add insult to injury I was so engrossed with this bizarre independent movement of my bump that as I was head down staring and giggling at it as I walked I neglected to notice one of our office directors walking towards me giggling to himself.

Oh the SHAME................

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Pass the WD40.... My hips are shot!

This weekend we went to the NY State Fair. It was a scorcher. I went very sensible in flat shoes. I had a feeling it was going to be a bad day for my pelvis/hips as I had the foresight to pack my brace from my recovery last time round. Basically a big white stretchy corset.
Half way round I noticed I was walking like I had a melon hanging out of my butt! Like I had the worst case of itchy hemorrhoids ever! I could literally feel my hips clicking I. And out of their sockets.
The rest of the evening was pretty much written off. It is now a day later and I am still sore. Most days I am ok but occasionally I get a bad one.
I need to keep supple and flexible and just take it easy on those bad days.
On a good note I now feel the baby move around 30 minutes after I eat. It lasts for about 30 minutes and it's such a lovely feeling.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Needsleep.com/whoamiwhereami

So last night I gave up trying to sleep at midnight. I was just laying there, not thinking about anything in particular. I just could not switch off. I got up and stayed downstairs watching telly and crocheting till 3am.
I then tried to go up again at 3am and lay awake till 4.30. my alarm went off and I just feel Terrible!!!

I'm now getting a pedicure as a treat. I hope they don't mind me snoring and farting in the chair as I am so relaxed!!!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Of all the times!!! you have to kick now!

I am a recruiter for a very large Financial Firm in the States and I spend alot of my day speaking with high powered individuals so of course I want to project a professional, polished image.  Well that clearly didnt happen yesterday.

There was me on the phone speaking with a great prospective hire.  I was on fire, giving it my all.  I was finally at the stage where the candidate was about to commit to come in and meet with us when suddenly "boom"  I felt my first true kick from the baby.  of course I went "oh!"

The candidate was suddenly "saying oh my gosh is everything ok?"  I said absolutely!!!  Luckily the candidate was female and she has had children and she completely understood my exclamation.  It may even have sweetened the deal.  she agreed to come in.  Whether it was because she genuinely was interested or the fact that she now knows I have 2 kids to feed and it would be awfully nice of her to make me look good and come in for a meeting we will never be sure!

It was great though.  Lovely to get that first confirmed knock on the door........

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

That ain't gas.......it's definitely the baby!!!

I have certainly decided that it is the baby. Last night when I was going to sleep the baby decided to wake up. It did feel like butterflies in my tummy. I was then obviously laid awake enjoying the movement.
Only downside is that I had to get up and go pee every 5 minutes. Highly annoying but it's all for a good cause.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Oh-Oh! Here comes the dodgy pelvis!

Those of you that know me remember the xray from after the birth of my first child. My pelvis halves completely separated. I mean completely!! The Colorado river could have flowed thru there and not got my hips wet!!

I have been a little nervous about this pregnancy as I spent 6 months learning how to walk properly again. I am now getting those tell tale signs that the pelvis is weak again. That is most likely the cause of the back pain. My hips click constantly and lifting My daughter is becoming difficult.

I need to strengthen my core muscles to support the pelvis. I may wear my belly sling that I had during recovery last time.

I am going to the OBGYN so I will mention it and let you know what they say.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

There goes that vein in the side of my head

So today my stress levels were at an all time high. I went to a 6 year olds birthday party. It was very lovely and there was tons of stuff for my daughter to do. I just felt like such a frump.
We had to reschedule our daughters naps too. That made her a little cranky on the way to the antiques fair this afternoon. My daughter was clearly done being in the car and started to scream and throw toys. I can usually entertain her but my patience was straining to keep up.

To top it off my back was absolutely on Fire!!!

By the time we got to the fair my temporal vein was about to pop out of my head!!! I came home put my daughter to bed and she gave me the biggest hug and kiss. So lovely. It literally made me feel Instantly better.

I'm now sat here with a hot water bottle and relaxing.
Night all!!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Missing my caffeine....

I am English by birth so of course I LOVE tea. Most of the posh teas I drink pack more caffeine thank most coffees so I am now really struggling to stay focussed and alert. I had a hot chocolate tonight before bed (big mistake) as it has caffeine and it just about gave me palpitations.

I went to work today feeling like I looked ok.. I then went to the loos and when I was washing my hands I looked in the mirror and seriously!! I had the skintone of Wednesday Addams from the Addams family with Uncle Festers eye shadow....NICE!

I'm supposed to be doing 20 mins of exercise a day. HOW???

Well I'm gonna go now. Need to sleep but an episode of star trek is about to start

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Is that gas or is it the baby

This is such a hard thing to distinguish.  I am 14 weeks tomorrow.  I am now getting those little gas bubble feelings in my belly and its so hard to determine what is the baby and what is just my lunch that I inhaled rather than chewed.  I really must learn to slow down. 

For those of you who have not had these sensations before the best way for me to describe it is, you know when you are REALLY tired and you get that twitch in your eye that makes you look like a complete maniac? Well thats kind of what it feels like when you first feel the baby move.

I have had it for a couple of days now where I do think its the baby but then I have eaten a ridiculous amount of hearty food too so my pumpy  bum may be to blame partially.

Monday, August 15, 2011

If you shake me I would sound like a maraca!

Each night that I go to bed I have to take my pre-natal vitamin. 2 pills. One of them is just DHA the other is the multi vitamin. I am also vit D deficient so I have to take 2000 iu a day. I am also iron deficient so I have to take and iron supplement. Basically I have 4 pills that look like they are supposed to go up your bum they are that huge, and to add insult to injury it then tastes like someone farted in my mouth afterwards.

I know it all goes to a good cause and it makes my hair and nails so lovely but really! Can you imagine Victoria beckham snogging David with a mouth like a badgers behind?

My poor husband.......

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Wedding wardrobe dilemma

We had a wedding to attend this weekend and I was worried sick about the clothing I would wear. It turned out I had a couple of old faithful outfits and I could highly recommend. Anything empire cut. This way it fits snug under the bust and then lots of floaty comfort covering the bump. This was the option I chose. A cream strapless floaty knee length dress. I emphasized the bump with a black sash tied in a bow above the bump. It was very comfy and got a great response.
I also have a couple of stretchy Calvin Klein dresses from my pre weightwatchers days. I advise keeping 1 or 2 key dresses from larger days for your pregnancy days.

Friday, August 12, 2011

1st snapshot

Well here we are guys.  here is our little munchkin.  Look at the massive feet !!!!!!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

People! Know your limits

What is it about people that makes them think they can just randomly come up and rub your belly. It's not a friggin lamp. There isn't a robin Williams voiced genie in there! It's so bizarre. I was coming out of the loo yesterday and this woman came over and rubbed my belly! Number 1: who the heck are you?
Number 2: why are you manhandling me?
Number 3: at least do me the decency of WASHING YOUR HANDS FIRST!!!!!

Sequential screen success

We went for our sequential screen. To check for signs of downs syndrome and neural tube defects. The appointment was for 8.30am. Why is it then that we got there at 8.15 and we were still sat in reception at 9.10? The worst part is I had to arrive with a full bladder. I was practically drowning internally in my own pee!!! Watching other people go in before me who had just arrived 5 minutes ago.

Anyway! The first part was the scan. It was great seeing bubba! It is amazing how 6 weeks ago it was just a round blob of cells. Now it is a proper baby. Wiggling away. Arms waving around. It was simply magical!!!!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Hugh Hefner sign me up! The funbags are back!!

Well I am in my second trimester now. Woop woop! My lady lumps have gone ginormous!!! Obviously my husband will be thrilled but my bras are too small and I have unfortunately spent most of today looking like that alien chick from Total Recall with the 3 boobs.

Luckily I have several different sizes of bra to work thru from last time. It sounds great doesn't it? What a great problem to have! Not so fast. There is the whole blue vein thing to look forward to. I look like an extra from a zombie flick seriously lol!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Get them damn peanuts away from me!

Now I love peanuts as much as the next man or woman. Except when I am pregnant. It was the exact same thing last time.
I can't look at them, I certainly can't smell them and dont even mention eating them. Even looking at the jar makes my gag reflex go.

I feel conscious that I should eat some so that the baby gets exposed to everything. I just can't do it.

I will also have to avoid one of my favorite restaurants "Texas Roadhouse" they have sacks of nuts everywhere. I would have upchucked before my drink even got to the table!!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Bump V's Boppy

Well it is now bump 1 Boppy 0. I give my daughter a bottle of mile before she goes to bed. We snuggle up together in the rocking chair and she reclines on the Boppy. It's now kinda not working. I can't get her and the Boppy around my bump. It looks like I may have to get creative. I am also struggling with carrying her as she rests on the bump and with the skin feeling like an over inflated whoopie cushion it gets a bit sore. Let the juggling of 2 kids begin!!!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Tossing and turning

I am at the stage now where I should not be sleeping on my back.  Obviously I cant sleep on my belly.  Technically I am supposed to sleep on my left side.  I am a devout belly sleeper so I always struggle with this.  I feel terrible as I spend the whole night tossing and turning from left to right, my poor husband obviously gets disturbed every time I roll over and NO BEFORE YOU ASK i am NOT going to get one of those Tempur Pedic excuses of a bed that feel more like rock.

I hope I settle down again and find a comfortable position.  I have one of those U shaped body pillos so I will give that a try this weekend.

REVEAL DAY!!!

Today we officially announced the impending arrival of our bundle of joy.

We created a video on Facebook and it basically went thru the last 3 years in the States.  It concluded with us making changes to our house for our 4th year.  We are extending the house by two feet.  It then cuts to a video of the digital pregnancy test changing from the ticking clock to the word "pregnant".

We showed it to my sister in law prior to uploading it and she cried.  Several others also cried.  It was great to wake up this morning and see 23 emails in my inbox.

The 2nd Trimester starts here.  Wow!  The first Trimester was no where near as bad as last time.  I should knock on wood after saying that shouldnt I!!!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Welcome back to the "sneeze wee"

So I we t to see captain America and totally broke the rules by downing the drink before the previews finished. This of course led to the plot spoiling need to "water the daises" I went to the loo which was a long walk as I was in the farthest screen from the entrance ,OF COURSE! I was mincing down the hall looking like I was trying to crack a walnut in my arse!
I finally made it to the toilet when I got the itchy nose and EPIC fail! I sneezed. Of course I then peed myself. Oh the joys of pregnancy.

Luckily I was already in the bathroom and it had one of them super dooper hand driers. I quickly dried my underpants and off I went back to the film. No one will ever know. "cue dr evil laugh"

Except you guys of course x

Toilet trauma

Luckily this is not my first time being pregnant so I didn't freak out when this happened but I wanted to post this to make first time mums aware. I went for my pap the other day (smear test for those of you in England) it was a little painful as usual. I didnt think any more of it until I went to the loo and saw blood and some tissue like substance staring back at me from the bowl. What the hell is that?????

Panic not my friends. Luckily it is completely normal after having your pap when pregnant. First time round I was not so relaxed and calm. I was sat there crying on the loo wondering if the aforementioned "duck billed platypus" tool had gone too far. What if the baby saw it? What the heck would it think was happening??? I was clearly wrong but hormones do some crazy shit to your logic.

My lovely midwife reminded me that it goes no where near the baby. It is all good.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Hide and seek

Today was my 11 week appointment. I was due to have a pap smear, 8 vials of blood taken a d finally hear the heartbeat.

I went in and first thing was the heartbeat. This baby really gave us a fright. My midwife had the Doppler and she was searching around for the heartbeat. It was a very tense couple of minutes. We couldn't hear anything. Of course that scene from Marley and me came into my head again. My midwife then asked me to put my fists under my butt to raise the uterus and oh look there you are!!!! Little heartbeat pounding away. It was such a relief! I think all of us were holding our breath. My husband went with me and I am glad he did.

Next the dreaded pap smear. My husband saw the use of the "duck billed platypus" as he calls it and bless him he still stayed. What a rock he is. Thankfully due to My daughter breaking me on the way out I don't experience any pain anymore during pap smears.

It was then that I went to get 8 vials of blood drawn. Is it just me or was I actually getting
Colder as more vials were taken?

I am now on my way home to eat my weight in sugar.

Monday, July 25, 2011

My back is on FIRE!

For all of you who are going through a first pregnancy let me pass on some advice. Drink water CONSTANTLY!!!!! I didn't know this before that if you dehydrate you can get cramps almost like contractions.it can be very dangerous.

I experienced it once first time round and I was told to drink water immediately as there was a risk the uterus would contract. I got a warning sign today. I have a massive headache and my lower back is so painful. Kidneys are clearly struggling. I need to be careful to watch for UTI aswell.

Wow pregnancy is glamorous,,,,

The cat is partially out of the bag

Yesterday we decided to break the news to a close friend. We were at her house for the afternoon. We wanted to let our daughters swim in the pool. So I got to the house and she didn't notice the bump. Me and my husband laughed at how funny the situation was. I was really nervous as I feel slot for this friend as she is also trying to conceive.

She asked me why I wasn't getting in the pool and I just smiled and said ,"because I'm pregnant and don't want to show my belly". Needless to say there was no need to be nervous, she was more than happy for me. It was then that she finally noticed my rather large belly.

There have been alot of rumors going around the family and it is so hard to keep denying it. We are still waiting to the 12 week point. We are going to hear the heartbeat on Wednesday..... We will keep you posted!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Goodbye Heels..... Hello Flats

I have always struggled with a bad back but I LOVE my heels!!! Anyone who knows me knows of my shoe fetish. I am only 5'3 so I love heels, the taller the better.

I would advise all fellow preggos to get the flats as soon as you can. The relief is AMAZING and your back will thank you. Flats are now much more pretty and not so granny like. If you are like me and your feet grow half a size when you are pregnant then maybe find some stretchy ones.

Plus, they are so much more practical. In my 6 month of pregnancy last year I fell over in the garage onto my belly and ended up in hospital for 24 hours observation. I was woken every 30 mins by a nurse who looked like Lurch from the Addams Family. It was also new years eve.

The choice is yours. A fun evening with good grub, comfy shoes and a nice comfy bed. Or, fabulous heels, a night with Lurch and a delivery bed...

I know which one I would choose (this time round lol)

Hot and Cold Flashes

So we are going through one of the most major heatwaves in decades and I'm pregnant. Here come the flashes. The hot flashes tend to come at night and the cold flashes in the day. I got a major cold flash at work this week.

It was 100 degrees outside and with the air conditioning it was about 75 in the office. I realized I was struggling to type and when I looked at my hands my nails had gone completely blue!!!! So my colleague dug out an old heater and within 10 minutes they returned to normal.

The hot flashes come at night and get so intense that they wake me up. It's very difficult as I feel dreadful tossing and turning as it wakes my husband up.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Hiding from my friends

This is the hardest thing about early pregnancy.  All the books and Drs suggest simply waiting 3 months before announcing news.  It sounds simple right?  12 weeks...thats not that long.  and typically you dont find out yourself until you are 4 weeks gone.

I am finding it SO hard.  Even though the majority of my friends are in England I still have friends here who I havent seen for ages.  Its the peak of summer so there are so many parties.  I havent gone for my usual hair appointment with my girlfriend so my hair resembles that of a scarecrow.

It is even becoming difficult with the English guys because when I do webcam chats I am usually playing with my daughter but now I have to be careful what I wear and how I stand so as not to raise suspiscion.

I miss hanging out with my friends on weekends and having play dates.  It seems like the longest 12 weeks EVER!!!!

We are going to wait til the end of July and then announce it.

The subconscious waddle

I caught myself today walking in the office and I was waddling.  SERIOUSLY!!! I looked like I had just wet myself I was walking that bizarrely.

I don't know why it happens but I see so many early pregnancy fellows like myself waddling. I am only 9 weeks 4 days so I don't need to waddle.  My body just tells me to do it.  I have always been rather theatrical!!!!

I think it is because I have said goodbye to my heels and gone into flat shoes that I feel the need to waddle.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Wardrobe malfunction

Why does no one tell you about the lack of sleep. I am a belly sleeper so of course I really struggle with getting comfy.

I try lie on my left side but then wake up nearly on my belly and imagine my poor baby's face squished Into my inner colon.. Stupid I know but you just wait! That will be you.

I become so neurotic and try find any way of getting comfy. I tried one of those preggo body pillows. Firstly they are huge and even In my queen bed I feel smothered. But it also feels like you are straddling a horse at night.

So back to the wardrobe malfunction ...... It's been about a month since a full night sleep. I went to work with my sweater on inside out. Wow how special did I look.

Time to start labelling my shoes again lol!

ThermaCare Wraps are not invented for us preggos..

I went to to cinema to watch Harry Potter and wanted to prepared. I ALWAYS get lower back pain. I was first thinking of a hot water bottle but then my husband reminded me that I had a ThermaCare wrap. I thought; perfect. How laughably wrong I was.

It does work in the sense that you get about 6 hours of heat but the undignified act of putting it on in the car was hysterical.

I pulled my pants down while I was in the car and out flopped my belly. I then tried to stretch the band around my belly and all I achieved was a 2nd cleavage in my belly and a friction burn. I did get more lamaze practice as I puffed and panted to get the strap fastened.

How my husband will ever want to sleep with me again I will never know.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Thank the lord for Streaming! But to hell with automatic lights.....

So imagine the scene.....

I have been having a few issues lately in the old bowel movement area so it takes me more than a little while to go to the loo.  I have thankfully found solace in my phone as i have NetFlix on it so I have been able to watch Downton Abbey to pass the time....and a movement lol!

My building is like a blackspot for my cellphone signal but luckily the 3rd cubicle in from the door has a spike in the signal and if i rest it on the loo roll holder it works a charm. 

The only issue is the stupid lights!!!  Our bathroom lights at work turn off automatically if there is no movement for more than 5 minutes!!!! i then find myself plunged into darkness.  So then I have to rip the spare loo roll out and throw it over the door to re engage the lights.

It has now become a frantic race between me and the lights.  I find myself puffing and panting to try and finish before darkness.  Hey at least it gives me lamaze practice.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

This ones for the husbands

So I am writing this in the hope that some spouses finally understand the random mood swings.
Last night I had plenty of sleep. Had a great day at work today. Came home and my husband had made dinner.... So why the hell did I get all arsey at him?

Answer: Hormones!

I hate throwing around the dreaded H word but they really screw with you in the first trimester. My husband asked me if I wanted pie or just the pot roast and I ripped his head off and said I don't care! I just want to eat. I heard myself say it and thought ," why did I just say that?" I immediately apologized but I felt terrible. I get cranky when I am hungry anyway but the mood swings are so bad when I am pregnant.

Needless to say I love my husband.. If you are reading this I am sorry x all the rest of the husbands out there please just smile and tell us everything is going to be ok and that we look nothing like a hippo and you should be good.

I'm hopefully going to get some good rest and wake up refreshed.

The pot roast was lush by the way...

Monday, July 11, 2011

The weird "Am I fat or Pregnant" Stage

So I am well into week 8 now and I went to the mall this weekend.  I am at the odd stage where people looking at you might think you are just fat.  The bump is definately there but it doesnt have the firmness to it so you get the dreaded "wobble" when you walk.

I was walking around the mall and desperate to shout to everyone "don't judge me.  Im not a couch potato, I lost 25 pounds on Weight Watchers Recently.  Im just knocked up. But cheers for looking anyway"

It is a difficult stage to dress.  I dont want to dress in anything too clingly for fear of the dreaded muffin top rearing its ugly head.  But I also dont want to wear a mu-mu.

I decided on some maternity capris and a long vest.  I cant believe I am in maternity pants already but the bump is so much more pronounced than last time.  I went to Mother hood Maternity and they had a great sale on pants and shorts.  BOGO 50% off!!!

The hardest thing is underwear.  No matter if I wear big or small underwear I keep getting muffin top.  That is my next project.  Find some comfy, none parachute style, vaguely eye pleasing underwear......I might be pregnant but I'm not dead lol!  gotta keep my man happy x

Relief on OH so many levels.

I am pleased to report that I am on day 3 of the new pre-natal Vitamins and the sickness has nearly all gone!!  I still have the occasional wave of nausea but NOTHING like before!!!!!  It is such a huge relief.

We also had a very stressful thing happen recently that may have also contributed.  We had to fire our current daycare for our daughter and find a new one.  It was for several reasons, price, conflict in schedule but mainly because when I went to pick our daughter (15 months old) up from daycare early, she was in the room alone completely unattended.  The main door to the daycare enters straight into her room as it is a family daycare.  the owner was UPSTAIRS!!!!  I was fuming beyond belief.

Needless to say now that the utter guilt in me taking her there in the first place has passed I feel much better.

When do we lose that feeling of guilt??? I feel like it is a hazard of being a parent that you realize every decision you make will impact on your child somehow.  I still find myself questioning if me emigrating over here was a good decision or not but hey I tell you it certainly was the right move.

I get horrified when I see the price of real estate back in England.  My old place was 534 sq feet.  Worth around $256K.  Now i live in a 2500 Sq foot detached home.  another 1000 Sq ft in the basement and it is valued at $211K.   Simply incredible!!!!

So Thankfully I do feel in a position to stop stressing and enjoy the rest of this pregnancy.  I have a week vacation coming up soon and I am going to spend it with my darling husband.  Our last chance to get some proper rest I guess before the craziness happens again!!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Woo Hoo ! I reached 8 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!

I am thrilled to have made it to 8 weeks.  That means just 4 more weeks to wait before we officially let the cat out of the bag.  I have been making sure that people only see my head and shoulders when I do skype chats with England.

So I am hoping that this weekend I should start to feel better.  My body has not coped with the OTC pre-Natal Vitamins very well.  I am sicker than usual and I am so unbelievably constipated its not even funny.  Coming out of the loo with blood shot eyes is never a good look!

I called the OB and they are sending a prescription out to my pharmacy for me.  We have a busy weekend ahead so I hope that they work.

I cant believe I am already 8 weeks!!!  That is scary.  The baby is apparently the size of a raspberry.  So why do I look like a hippo??????????

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Little Girl in her Mamma's shoes

I had to post this as it was just so sweet. My daughter is 15 months and she is obsessed with putting shoes away in the storage bench. The other day she picked up my flip flops and carried them to the storage bench. She then put them on the floor and went all quiet. When we peeked she was stood there trying to put her feet in the right part of the flip flop with the toe band in the right place.

This simple act of pure curiosity and innocence was so refreshing and magical.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Insomnia. Hello! I haven't seen you in a while

So for those of you who have never experienced sleep deprivation take it from me it's not fun.
I don't know if it's because I'm so excited or the fact that I can't sleep on my belly but I NEED sleep.

It was the same with the last pregnancy and I was so surprised last time. I had never heard of pregnancy insomnia. I thought that all fellow preggos could sleep anywhere due to exhaustion. How wrong was I. I was prescribed ambien last time which I hated as I felt I was drugging the baby but I felt so good once I finally slept. I think my husband was excited at the fact that One of the side effects was having sex while not fully conscious. I'm sad to say sorry husband but I was one of the few that didn't fall victim..... At least not that he is letting on anyway lol!

So I'm gonna play it by ear but we will see if I can get any sleep this week.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Wardrobe issues

So I am 7 weeks along now and I swear I look like I did at 3 months last time. I have a definite bump. I have given up trying to hide it at work because I just went through weightwatchers and suddenly ballooned. Between that and throwing up rather publicly they all guessed. The issue is with neighbours, family and friends. I have some friends trying to get pregnant and I feel nervous to tell them as I know when I was trying to conceive I hated everyone who was pregnant. Yes it's completely irrational but I wanted them and their fertile womb away from me.

So with the wardrobe I have had to be creative. Lots of flowy dresses. Nothing clingy and if I can I will carry my daughter to disguise the bump. All of my old maternity clothes were from winter and we are in the height of summer so I will just have to go to the shops.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Nose of a bloodhound

One weird side effect of pregnancy that not many people talk about is the sense of smell.  I could probably beat my dog in any sniffer dog contest right now.

I dread opening my fridge as it smells like everything is off and my husband looks at me as if im mad.  We came in the house last night after being out and I swore that the house smelt of....well...sh!t for lack of a better word.  I said to my husband..."please tell me you smell sh!t"  he responded with "no"  i said "what do you smell?" He responded, "nothing. it smells really clean".

Its so confusing.  I proceeded to clean the kitchen....again as i was convinced the waste disposal smelt.  I can also smell my daughters diaper movements within minutes of her doing them... I will say "  i think she has pooed"  and my husband will say that he cant smell a thing.  Lo and behold when we checked she has pooed.

Lets not even talk about the diaper genie.  There is only so much smell that those gadgets can keep inside.

I guess the upside is border patrol could hire me to sniff out the coke heads lol!!

Morning sickness is not time sensitive

Morning means nothing.  For me the sickness comes at any time of day.  I have rarely actually thrown up but when I have it has been at work of all places.  My office all know as it was just to hard to hide it.  Most of the times I just get the wave of nausea.

For those of you wishing to know what it feels like lets do a little exercise:

You have eaten very little all day.  you go for a "quick drink"  at lunch with a friend.  You stay until the rest of your friends come out in the evening.  You have a quick bag of pork scratchings then continue to drink.  You have a very questionable kebab on the way home and get home at about 1am.  You then drink some hot milk and go to bed.  You look up and the window jumps off the wall and starts spinning around the room and the only thing you can do to stop it is have one arm and one leg out of the bed.  Any slight movement threatens to show your stomach content................WELCOME TO MORNING SICKNESS!

What makes it worse is my sense of smell.  Everything in my house smells grose! normally nice smells do not make me want to chunder everywhere!

Cold baths again

Pregnancy is a marvelous thing but even everyday things make you realize just how fragile our bodies are and just how risky the first trimester is.  I suffer from back pain and towards the end of the day my lower back feels like its on fire!

The only thing that cures it is a nice hot bath.  Sadly the OBGYN said hot baths are a no go.  I cant let my body temperature go above 101 degrees so that means the bath water can be no hotter than 100 degrees.  Sounds hot right?

Think again.  Its that really annoying kind of luke warm. The temperature where you would instantly turn on the tap and feel the hot water slowly seep down the bath.  But no.....Im stuck in a luke warm bath with a huge swimming pool thermometer which I now obsessively check every 5 minutes hoping and praying that it goes to 99 degrees so that I can put in some hot water.

Needless to say my back doesn't really get soothed so I go back to old faithful. My hot water bottle.  It works a charm most of the time.  unlike last night when the numpty I am I wasn't watching as I was filling it up and got the wooly cover a bit wet.  I felt a bit soggy.

I just have to focus on the positive.  There is a beautiful baby growing in there and it is a pure delight to be pregnant again. 

Friday, July 1, 2011

The sono-dildo!

Well it was our 6 week scan the other day.  i braced myself for another encounter with the dreaded sono dildo.  Why is it that Hollywood never shows someone getting a 6 week scan trans vaginally????  I was terrified the first time round when I went for that.  I had never heard of having a sono done like that because no one tells you!!!

The bit that makes me laugh is the way they put a condom on it.  I mean....really?????  Its not like I'm going to get pregnant.....well more pregnant than I really am.

So all went well this time.  Thanks to my daughter making more than enough room on the way out There was no discomfort.  We saw the tiny little heartbeat which was the most reassuring thing.  Whenever I go for the 6 week scan I cant help but get that scene from Marley and me out of my head where Jen Aniston and Owen Wilson are told there is no heartbeat. 

There is a small bleed in utero but nothing to worry about (yeah right! dont tell me then cos now i will worry).  Now every time I go to the loo I get petrified Im going to see blood.

Thankfully we left with smiles on our faces and 2 pictures of our little kidney bean.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Here we go again....

Ok so let me fill you in on my story so far.
Born in the UK.  Fell in love with an American.  Got married.  Got my greencard (that could be a whole blog on its own!).  Moved to America. Got a puppy.  Got pregnant.  Broke pelvis giving birth.  Welcomed a baby girl.....painfully.  Got my lady garden stitched up.  Went home.  Thats the last 10 years in a nutshell.

So daughter is 15 months old and wouldnt ya know....we did it again.  I cant believe after that trainwreck I went through first time round I am doing this again.  Yep Im pregnant!!!

6 weeks 6 days to be exact.  Memorial Day weekend was clearly our lucky weekend.  We seriously lucked out and got pregnant on the 2nd attempt.  Not like the first time when I was the psychomaniac obsessed with temperature and mucus.  Clearly not an attractive trait to have when you are trying to have relations with the fella.  My poor husband cant help but think of me when he cracks an egg!

I read all the books first time round and none of them truly tell you what an amazing but truly scary as s@*t time it is.

I have decided I am going to speak my mind....those that know me will not be surprised.

Welcome to the journey!!!!!!!!!!!