Surely the fact that I fart as I go up every single step in my house is a worthy entry for the next series.
I don't know if it was the curry or the soda or the non alcoholic beer I had this evening but those damn carpet frogs have followed me home from work. It's insane!!! My daughter even laughed as I lifted her out of the bath and "exhaled" out of my rear end. This is really not the beautiful feminine pregnancy experience.
Do you reckon Beyonce and Jay-z have carpet frogs in their house? Do you reckon posh spice used to roll over in bed and fart on David Beckhams thigh? Somehow I think not.
What do the celebs do different? Why don't they develop the 3rd boob as they burst out of their bras? Why don't they walk like they have a rod up their arse? Why don't they accidentally knock glasses off the table with their bellys while dining at the Ivy?
Us middle class preggos just have to accept that carpet frogs are a spreading epidemic.
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