When did I become a 15 year old

This morning I woke up and looked in the mirror and there was 15 year old me staring back.
I have the worst skin breakout right now. I used to suffer from pimples as a teen but those days were long behind me.

I wouldn't even have a clue now how to cover them up as its been so long since I had one. I remember the days I could open up a junk draw and find the most random bits of makeup and be able to perfectly disguise a pimple. Now I would just look like a 12 year old experimenting with my mothers make up bag. I'm not even gonna bother. Screw it!

When people start asking my pimple if it wants a cup of tea then I will maybe do something about it but for now I just can't be arsed!

Warning! The floodgates have opened....

Today was AWFUL!!!!

Severe traffic lead to late Drs appointment. That lead to late lunch which equals one serious dizzy spell. On top of all that I got a flat tire on the car. The FIRST day my hubby gave it to me. Oops. I hit a curb when turning a corner. I am a female I have no idea where the other side of the car is!!!!

I was so behind at work that I ate my lunch and then just plowed on. I survived the rest of the afternoon on tea, water and chewing gum.

I was busting for a pee by the time it came to me leaving work. I had to get my daughter as darling hubby was unable to pick her up. I managed to keep it in while driving there. I picked her up into the car with my legs crossed and .... Success! No pee.

I got her home and played with her and fed her. I then got her upstairs and ready for bed. Read her story and put her to bed. I ate something and thought I really must pee. I then got distracted by washing up. I then made some batches of food for the week to make my dinners earlier when .........aaaattttccccchhhuhbhooooooo!

The mother of all sneezes.! I stood by the cooker making food with pee streaming down my legs and oooooohhhhh god it felt so good. So good that I actually forgot where I was. I then realized where I was and as I looked at the dog staring back at me in disgust and suddenly realized the contents of lake Ontario were on the kitchen floor.

Thankfully hardwoods are easy to clean. Well it could've been worse. I might have followed through! Lol

Hello Homer Simpson

I literally just got in the bath and I had to laugh as I saw my reflection in the mirror as there, staring back at me, was Homer Simpson.

My boobs perch on my belly and they look like his eyes then my belly just needs a mouth drawing on it and there you go! Homer Simpson.

If it weren't for the fact I would probably get arrested it would make an awesome Halloween outfit!

I can't believe how quickly things seem to be progressing. I am over 5 months! My boobs weigh a ton! Obviously getting ready for milk production. My belly is so ROUND!!!! The baby is kicking so much.

Well I am now in the bathroom catching up with Downton Abbey on the Telly. Best program EVER!!!

Numb bum syndrome

Today was absolutely MANIC at work and I was at my desk sat down alot. I was bogged down with paperwork. I got up to go to the printer and I swear my bum had sealed over. The pain when I stood up was so intense. I felt so DISGUSTING! Am I really that heavy that my bum is struggling with the weight???

I then had the mortal dilemma of "do you think anyone will see if I massage my bum a bit to wake it up?"

Well me being me I thought sod it and gave my cheeks a good old wiggle. It made me chuckle to myself. I felt so silly but crikey I needed it.

I then got up and waddled around the office a bit and said bum cheeks were fully awakened

Darling Husbands first contact with his 2nd daughter

Last night was a very special moment.

The baby was getting very rambunctious do I took full advantage. I laid on my back and had my husband put his hand on my belly and low and behold about 10 minutes later he got 2 good kicks. It was so wonderful. It is his 2nd child, as it is mine but it was still just as special as with our first daughter.

It feels wonderful for me to finally share this with my hubby as they don't really get to experience anything apart from pissed off wives and mental mood swings.

So now that the kicking is stronger I am sure my belly will man handled alot more hahaha.

It was such a wonderful moment xxx

Post-it blooper!

You may have read the previous post about me clearing off desk tops as I leave my desk as my bump has developed into a rudimentary shelf/swiffer duster!

Well imagine my embarrassment today as I had been walking around for 20 minutes with 3 post-it notes stuck to my shirt right under my bump............

No one said anything so I am hoping that no one noticed.  How embarrassing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Return of the shelf

I LOVE this stage of pregnancy. No matter where I am I always have a handy shelf available. I noticed 4 times today that I was resting my notepad on my belly to write. It also became a handy cup rest for my tea.

The only issue is walking around with a beachball up your frock does lead to some funny mishaps. Like misjudging the toilet door frame and closing the door on your belly. Knocking all the paperwork off a desk as you walk by it. Almost trapping yourself and a poor victim between you and the photocopier.

The other funny thing is sitting at my desk and talking to prospective recruits I notice that I just sit and rub my belly. It's like I think it's like a genie will pop out or something. Why do us preggos do that??

Forgotten Prescription

The other day I ran out of Pre-Natal Vitamins.  Simple...............go to the pharmacy,  it is a drive thru pharmacy so you dont even need to get out of the car.............you dont need your purse as they have your account already set up.  The hard part.  Remembering to do that!

I lay awake that first night without the vitamin pills imagining my little one suddenly developing a 3rd eye because the vitamin balance isnt right.  I felt the guilt that if the poor thing fails calculus at school it is because of my missed pill.

Of course I know that I am being completely irrational but I'm 5 months pregnant, how else am I supposed to feel.

Why do we feel so guilty so early on about how our decisions affect our children???

I guess my punishment was the fact I missed a night of stool softener pills so of course I was subjected to a red hot poker coming out of my arse the following day.

Right I am going to go and retrieve my fingernails from the side of the toilet seat....have a great day!!!!

Who stole my nips and replaced them with melted minstrels?

I got out of the bath last night and laughed at my reflection. The swollen belly is funny on it's own but my nips literally changed over this last week. Gone are the nice pink ones. Replaced by what look like melted minstrels! They are so big and so brown! I look at those bottles that you see farmers hand rearing baby calfskin and think yep that's what mine look like. I could feed a whole herd.

My poor funbags! They are well and truly sunny side DOWN! I need some serious scaffolding to get those puppies looking back up at the sun.

I just need to remember the purpose and that makes me smile and I learn to love my saggy mammaries. I'm not quite at national geographic stage yet but I'm not far off!

Nocturnal Riverdance

I settle into bed every night after having a nice cup of hot milk. I then grab my crochet and do about half an hour of crochet before I finally turn the light out. The baby is asleep during all this time.

Once the lights go out, the baby wakes up and act 3 of riverdance starts. It was the same with my last pregnancy. I lay awake and feel all the little pokes prods twists and turns. I roll to the other side to see if a change of position might calm things Down but no baby wants to dance.

It is definitely getting stronger I can't feel it on the outside yet. There are times when it feels like the baby is stretching out across my entire lower belly and that really feels weird. It's not at the Aliens chest Burster scene yet.

Usually watching Star Trek calms the baby Down again. I just love feeling all the little movements. I have to enjoy every last one as this is my last :( if only I could win the lottery.

Midnight Mucnhies

I don't know what it was about last night but boy I had the munchies.

It was literally like some weird pathological thing where I put my head on my pillow to go to sleep (yeah right! fat chance) and my brain just said, "i need a big mac".

Whether it was because I was emotionally drained about Steve Jobs passing or over the moon about some other good news I had received I don't know but I just knew I had to have a Big Mac.

My husband heard me say it and seriously was going to get out of bed and go get me one.  Bless him!!!!!  We are lucky here as they are 24 hours.  If I was still living in England I would have had to have gone miles to the airport to get one as that was the only one open late.

Needless to say I was not that callous.  I told my hubby don't go.  I will only regret eating it.  I still want one really badly but it is just such awful stuff to eat.  We settled down to watch a program about black holes in the universe and the narrator kept referring to "stars being eaten"  all the way through the program.  Really????? you have to mention eating at a time like this. 

Now of course I am writing this and just wishing I could have a stupid Big Mac.  GRRRRRRR!  i will go to my bag and have an apple because that will SOOOOOOOOOOO get rid of the craving lol!

The "Ive been run over by a bus" feeling

This morning was not pretty.  First of all I woke up with a mouth like a Badgers Bum! The heating was on last night so my mouth dried out and a fairy must have flown by and farted in my mouth because damn did my breath honk this morning.  Attractive picture I'm painting.  I blame it on the 2 trail mix bars that I sneakily ate last night when I couldnt sleep.

My husband felt ill last night so he got up around midnight and went downstairs and neither of us could sleep.  The baby was also awake as she was doing somersaults.  She was also doing that grose "im going to kick you right in the cervix" thing.  It is still very slight and not hard enough for anyone else to feel, not that many people spend time feeling my cervix but you know what I mean.

After 2 hectic days and not much sleep I am sat at my desk staring at my computer looking like I have just escaped from a mental home after several months of electrotherapy treatment.

I literally threw on some clothes this morning, I am amazed I got a matching pair of shoes!  I scraped my hair back into a high ponytail, you know,  like us girls do when its so greasy it sticks to your head so you may as well tie it back.  I put extra eyeliner on today to show people that my eyes are in the normal place, it is just the bags that extend midway down my cheek. 

I think I need a nice luke warm  100 degree Farenheit bath and a new wardrobe.  Just something to pick me up and get me going again.  I feel fat and frumpy today.  That glow is definitely not present right now.  I feel like people look at me and think I am some kind of drug rehabilitated teen mom as I look about 12 years old with my hair tied up.

So operation "pick me up" needs to commence.  I need to get my hair cut as my hair has grown super fast.  I need to update my maternity wardrobe and i need to do it STAT!!!!