stuffed like a turkey

I just sat there today and realised.....holey moley I am over 32 weeks!!! How have I suddenly gone from announcing I'm pregnant to being over 8 months pregnant?  I keep forgetting that this journey is nearly over and I am actually going to have to pop this little one out at some point.

The back and hips have been faily good this week.  Heartburn has subsided a little.  I was beginning to think for a while that my stomach had become confused and decided to produce battery acid instead of bile. The upchuck reflex is unfortunately as sensitive as the smoke alarm in my first house.  There would be no retching required to empty my system.  pure gravity just yanks the food back out of my stomach.

Breathing is now quite difficult.  I becaome breathless after just talking.  Those that know me would not be surprised as I could make talking an olympic sport.  It makes me laugh though as when I am on the phone I puff and pant through my conversation and I know that people are probably thinking that dodgy guy who stares at them in the grocery store is prank calling them.  I can feel my uterus is pretty much under my chin now LOL!  Joking aside the uterus is really high and it is around now that I find it difficult to eat.  I get so full after just afew bites as my stomach is being squeezed within an inch of its life.   My advice to first timers would be eat small meals maybe 4 or 5 times a day and that way you shouldnt feel uncomfortable.

The baby now has her head down and I keep getting moments of feeling her butt stick out either side of my belly button.  This is probably the most difficult time breathing and eating,  it soon passes.  When the baby drops it is literally like a button has been pressed and you can suddenly breathe properly.   Of course though, when that happens you are on constant guard from your spouse waiting for that first contraction.

Upchuck queen

So you know them toys that are a little bird made of glass. It's on a stand and it has a vessel of water at the bottom of it and when you swing the bird it keeps going and it looks like it is drinking from a glass? Well that's me but the other way round. After I have eaten I cannot lie down or bend down as my food comes straight back up. I also get quite nauseous when I eat some times as baby is quite large and her feet kick my stomach quite alot.

Yesterday was just evil. I felt like I was going to spew all day.

Onwards and upwards. Only 7 and a half more weeks to go.

Looking good so far!

Well I went to the Drs as planned and I was pleasantly surprised! I was dreading it thinking that they were going to say your pelvis is shot love!

I had to bend forward as far as I could. Ok that was easy enough. Next I had to flex a d stretch my hips. Fine I could do that. Then check the alignment of the pelvis. All looked level. Then I had to get on the bed and the Dr checked the rotation of the hips and it was good. He asked where the source of the pain was and I said I thought it was the tailbone. Little did I know that I was no where near anatomically right with that self diagnosis. He actually prodded my tailbone and I realised its right near my rear entrance. Of course it is. God I am thick sometimes. We then managed to locate the source of the pain and it is right in the small of my back. My back curves a little more than normal. The pain is purely obstetrical. It is simply the weight of the bump stretching my already over exaggerated spine curve.

I was shocked but obviously thrilled to bits. I still need to keep it real and not over do things.

Fantastic news though!!!

A potential bit of good news......

I need to wait until a follow up Drs appointment on Friday but I may be ok to have the option of trying for a natural delivery rather than the old lift out of the sunroof.  At the same time I need to be realistic and know that i will not be going for hours and hours, I need to admit that after a couple of hours if it aint happening then I need to get intervention.

Its a hard decision to make,  do you just go ahead and schedule the C section and miss out on the most amazing natural high you will ever have? Or do you try and go natural and get that wonderful bonding moment but risk another pelvis injury or 3rd degree laceration? (for those of you that dont know, that is where you split from front to back.....ouch!)

Well I guess I have to take all factors into account.  My husband was concerned during my last delivery that the nurse on the right side of me had my leg at a very awkward angle and she was holding it far back.  I know that is the optimum position and I was under an epidural so I couldnt feel anything.  Whether it be coincidence or not, it was that leg that was damaged.  With the correct positioning and with me in control I may be able to get it right.

I met with my midwife yesterday and it really hit home to me that where I previously would have refused a C section because it is a surgical procedure, I was overwhelmed with emotion because I cant imagine being denied going through labor and the emotional joy of delivering.  I broke down in tears as I explained that and I think it will take a lot to change that.

This is a joint decision though.  Myself and hubby need to come up with an action plan once we know the full story from the musco-skeletal people and then see what to do.  My midwife did make a good point though that when creating a birth plan it needs to be a joint decision but the mother going through it needs to be 100% on board with that plan as you don't ever want to have resentment in the marriage.  As this will be my last pregnancy I know that I really want the option to at least try delivering naturally.

Lets see what the Dr says on Friday.  On a good note.....my split bum hole has healed.....YAY!

Weebles do wobble over

The old phrase "weebles wobble over but they don't fall down" really failed today for me. I am a weeble, my centre of gravity is somewhere near my anus so naturally when I miscalculated the steps into the house (I swear I thought I climbed 3 but I only climbed 2)I landed on my bottom.

It was like a comedy slow motion fall. Luckily straight on my bum so no harm done. I sat and laughed so hard. My daughter ran over and gave me a hug.

It must be the time of year. When I was pregnant with my first daughter I fell over actually onto my tummy on the day before new years eve. I had to stay in hospital over night and made it home at 9.30pm on new years eve.

I really need to watch my footing which is clearly hard as I haven't seen my feet for 4 months!

Hairy legwarmers

Hello again peeps! I had to giggle the other night. I was in the bath and looked down at my legs and realised it was full on gorilla warfare! I don't get to see my legs much so I didn't realise how desperate the situation was. I reached for my razor and set to work.

Ok, top half of legs done. Now let's just reach forward and, oh, er, ahhhh, heave....nope. I can't reach the bottom of my legs. I literally looked like I had hairy legwarmers on. It was hysterical! I couldn't leave it like that. What happens if I needed to go to the hospital and they see me like that. Am I the only person who makes sure she has matching underwear on just in case she has to go in an ambulance? It would be awful to get caught wearing my laundry day underwear, you know, the grey ones that were white. One underwire is missing and the elastic in the knickers has gone... Sound familiar or is it just me?

Anyway! Back to the legwarmers. So I had to get rid of them but I just cannot reach. It was then I had my brainwave. I will use my feet. I have always been quite dexterous so I put the razor in my toes and ha ha ha success! It worked. Thank god these razors are safe and not the old style skin chunk removing ones. Admittedly it took a while and lots of puffing and panting but I now look normal and not like something out of gorillas in the mist. Sigourney Weaver was on her way to profile my life I mean this was critical! I watched that film and there aint no way I am having my hand as an ash tray.

I will leave you for now. Ta ta for now xx

Am I broken or not?

I have had a little bit of progress today.  The magic back and pelvis Dr who helped me recover post delivery last time has reached out and I am going for an appointment there on the 23rd.  He worked miracles last time.  My OBGYN Dr said my pelvic separation was one of the worst she has seen in years. Hence the old C Section discussion.

My Musco-skeletal Dr is going to give me the once over and see how the pelvis is holding up and see if there are any excersises I can do at home to assist the pregnancy. 

I am trying so hard to not get my hopes up as I know i am asking the impossible but you just never know do you.  I am willing to try ANYTHING at this stage to increase my chances of having a natural birth.  I dont want it out of the sunroof!

I will of course keep you posted and let you know what happens.

The awful "C" word.........no...not that one you dirty people!

I recently had a check up with my Drs.  My torn bum feels much better.  Still using the surpositories which feel HORRID!  If any of you have watched the film Role Models, there is a bit in that film where Jane Lynch's character has a rather funny issue with a hot dog that keeps squeezing out of the bun and she keeps pushing it back in.  That is literally what it is like! But, I have to say things feel much better.  I don't feel I have to hold on to the toilet seat when I go do my business now.

Anyway I am happy to move on from that and talk about something else.

My last delivery did not go very well.  Long story short (39 hours)  I was left with SPD.  That is where the 2 sides of the pelvis separate during delivery.  My daughter was facing the wrong way so I stretched a little too far.  I also had a 3rd Degree Laceration.  Basically that is a tear from front to back.  OUCH! 
I required 9 weeks of physical therapy and some stitches to get myself back to walking and "functioning" properly.  Naturally there has been some concern as to how it will go this time.  I am now 7 months in and I am really struggling with walking.  My sciatic nerve is flaring alot.  I waddle like a penguin so I need to check the integrity of the pelvis. 

My Dr had a polite discussion with me and reminded me that I may need to consider a C Section.  To me this is a curse word.  I am very Holistic and passionate about being as natural as possible.  When I had this conversation with the Dr I agreed that her reasoning was a solid argument.  We need to see how big the baby gets and just weigh up what would be best for me and the baby.  I was calm and collected.

As soon as I got in my car, i had a meltdown.  Only dogs and bats could have understood what I said.  My poor husband.  I called him and squealed down the phone.

I really want to go into labor.  I want the delivery to be on the babies schedule, not a Drs.  I want to feel the labor progress.  I want that moment of exilaration when she is born.  I want the skin on skin immediately after the birth.  I want to Breastfeed straight away. What I then suddenly realized is all the I's in that sentence. 

I need to think of the babies needs after the birth.  Also I need to think about my daughters needs.  I cant go through another 9 week recovery with a new born and 2 year old.  I need to be mobile.  Last time I couldnt walk without assistance for 4 weeks.  I need to think about the burden it will have on my husband.  He does so much for me already.  I need to keep emotion out of it and do what is right for all of us.  We don;t always get what we want.

Its easy to say but this is my last child.  My last time being pregnant.  I really want it to be a natural birth.  That is going to take alot of emotional management to see logically.

Pain in the arse

I have been wondering whether or not to post this as I don't know when too much Info is too much. My purpose of this blog was to portray everything, no holds barred, honest and truthful. So even though I know no man including my husband will ever find me sexually appealing again I will divulge....

About 5 years ago I had a very proud moment when I was a flight attendant when I managed to make the waste meter go up a notch after having a rather large poo. I kinda feel weird having the same pride this time around but how else should I feel after having a poo so big it..... Split my arse!

Yes you read it.... My bum broke having a poo. I have had to double dose my iron and vitamin D pills as I'm more deficient than Casper. This has led to some monumental movements that looked more like fossilised wood than roughage. On Monday my butt finally cracked... Pardon the pun. I felt a sting and then wiped and saw blood. Of course I was like WTF? I checked a million times that it wasn't from my lady garden and thankfully it wasn't. I thought great I have hemmaroids. That would just be horrid! Tuesday was the same thing.

My husband finally said. Ok come on let me take a look. I thought how sweet but really I need to keep some dignity. I dont know why as he saw me tear during childbirth last time. I had an appointment with the docs already set so I would just go to that.

That appointment was today. I did my duty and laid back and thought of England. I looked at the pretty pictures and the ceiling and braced myself. In goes my lovely Drs finger up the old one way street. Holey Moley do some people really do that for fun? And how the hell does a hamster fit in there anyway? The pain coupled with the fact I thought I was going to pebbledash the wall and my Dr made me cringe.

Thankfully she had good news. There are no clingons on the starboard bow. I simply split my arse. Right! Somehow that's better.

As I sit here I have a friggin surpository the size of the Washington memorial up my jacksie and trying not to sneeze.

Did I mention I love being pregnant?

Constant Braxton Hicks

I am now 30 weeks and I have been having incredibly frequent Braxton hicks. That is where you feel the tightening of the uterus and a squeezing sensation. You can sometimes find it takes your breath a little.

The guide is if you have 4 or more in an hour you should seek advice. I am having around 15 - 20 per hour. Mainly it is dehydration so PLEASE keep drinking water! I have been drinking constantly but it is still occurring. I have a Drs apt on Thursday so I will be mentioning it. I haven't had any other pre term labor signs so I am not concerned. I am just exhausted. It really takes it out of you.

Lots of feet up and resting is on the cards me thinks...... Pwahahahahahahahah I almost said that with a straight face! Full time job and toddler at home..... Yeah I get tons of time to put my feet up and rest

Soggy foot and dented pride

So here goes. Embarrassing blog post of the week. My centre of gravity is not really where it used to be and when you couple that with the fact my hips are ceasing up, you get a disastrous result.

I have this thing about toilet flush handles. I can't touch them. I just think of all the germs. So I lift the old leg up and plonk my foot on the flush handle to flush it.

I went to the loo this afternoon so my hips were very sore after sitting all day. I finished my "business" and went to flush. My aim was perfect right until the last minute when a sudden veer to the right sent the heel of my shoe IN to the BOWL!!!!! EUGH!!!! So grose! I was laughing hysterically which then made me need to pee again so it was round 2.

Thank god I didn't have a dump as that would have to have been harder to clean off than a little pee. Could you imagine! Pulling your Nine West heel out of the loo with a turd skewered on it! I am just glad no one saw me washing my shoe in the sink!

So embarrassing!

Knickerbocker Shocker

Imagine this beautiful site. It's the end of a long day. I have eaten and proceeded to have a nice hot steaming bath. I clumsily flop out of the bath and cover myself in cream. Next I proceed to the bedroom and put on my nice fluffy bath robe. Husband starts making his way up the stairs and now it is a race against time. Can I get my knickers on before he gets to the bedroom.

The reason this is not for my husbands eyes is because I can't bend down low enough to loop the leg holes over my feet. It is a mad frantic mission of bending over, holding onto the bed knob and playing hoopla with my knickers on my feet. With about 3 throws I manage to get on foot in successfully. With a sigh of relief and a sneaky fart for my troubles I now make the second foot my goal.

This time hoopla will not work. It is now a fight between my longest finger and the knicker elastic. I strain and strain and I feel my back burning and my knees trembling and husband is nearly at the door. Panic!!!! One last stretch and with my butt nearly split in 2 I managed to get it on. Now comes the wiggle move of trying to get them up my legs and look all sexy.

I wiggle them up and look in the mirror and I am flushed, sweaty, out of breath, panting and my boobs are stuck somewhere under my armpit.....yeah.... I think it's not really working.

Poor husband. I look frikkin ridiculous but do you know what makes it all worth while.... Seeing my husbands face as he watches my belly move and he looks at me with this contented little grin.

Love being pregnant!!!!! It is a miracle and a gift x

Goodbye favorite pen

Yesterday was a sad day.
I dropped my pen and it is under my desk.  It is in a sacred lost world that I can no longer access.  I tried relentlessly to pick it up and succeeded in making my face all flushed, waking the baby up so got a thorough kicking, made my co worker die laughing as she heard me strain and puff and pant to get down low enough and almost ripped my trousers trying to split my legs apart and let the belly hang down so that I could try and reach it....but....alas.....the pen is still there in its own little under desk world.  hanging out with a couple of paperclips.

I look forward to being able to be reunited with my little pen in March after I have had the baby.